How to scan your negatives – Secret sexy pictures

15 Oct

Remember the days when you had to send pictures of your boobs by post. Remember the days when dick pics arrived in the mailbox accompanied with carefully crafted notes, whose letters were painstakingly cut from newspapers and magazines?

make some effort people!

Romance has died a little bit with the ease with which I can send and receive snatch shots.

But many of us who are adults still have a few naughty pictures on negatives. With the dominance of digital, I don’t even know if there are places that still develop film. In any case they will be few and far between.

Also you will most likely be their only customer. Gone are the days of anonymity as you hand over your film of dirty sex shots, with that tattooed biker. (You only needed the pictures to prove that he really had tattooed his penis as a snake, because otherwise no-one would ever believe you, but I digress, this is, of course, completely hypothetical).

So basically, as their only customer, they will spend their time with your film and they will remember you, so you can’t exactly be one of the masses handing over films of their sexy time. 80% of people that developed film included pictures of themselves engaged in sexual activity, according to the statistics provided for by the bureau of my imagination.

However, if you happen to have a scanner and a light. You can digitalize the shots you want to see so badly, but are too embarrassed to bring to the printer in a few easy steps.

1. Take the negative and place it on the scanner.

2. Place a light top of the negative. (If you have an iPhone you can download one of those flashlights that makes your screen light bright – this is what I used. Other options are leaving the scanner open and using the sun or using another light source). You may want to use a thin paper to disperse the light a bit.

3. Scan at the highest possible resolution.

4. Open in image manipulation program (even paint is good enough).

5. Invert the image.

6. Adjust contrast and brightness.

7. Enjoy your old dirty pictures, pervs!

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