My Best Friend’s Valentine

13 Apr

This new book is sizzling! For those to shy to open it on Amazon to check out the preview, I’ll post it here, especially for you:

It sparkled. When it came to shiny objects I was as easily drawn to them as a crow. Secretly, I still loved the plastic rings the children could get from a quarter from the machine in front of the supermarket. If a man would give me one of those big shiny plastic rings, I would probably marry him.

I reached through the other clutter and pulled on the shiny object, a belt buckle. It came free with a hiss as the belt slithered through the trash behind it. I examined it in the sun. Normally, I didn’t find fashion accessories in the trash.

The buckle consisted of a symbol of Mars and a symbol of Venus. I moved the symbols around and it unbuckled when they became synchronized. Clever.

There was nothing else that caught my eye. Just diapers and food wrappings. I put the belt into my bag and headed back home.

My roommate, Melissa, was baking. The smell of sugar caramelizing by the heat of the fire filled the apartment. I tossed my bag onto the couch.

“Hey!” she said waving the beater at me. “How did your scavenger hunt go?”

“Not much today,” I said. “That smells great by the way.”

I reached to grab one of the brownies she had finished already. She slapped my hand away.

“What?” I asked. I could not believe she was going to torture me with the smell of brownies without letting me even taste one!

“Wash your hands first, you dirty bum,” she smiled at my puppy face. “You’ve been digging in the trash all morning.”

“It’s for art!” I yelled at her as I made my way to the bathroom sink.

“I don’t care! It’s not hygienic!” she called back.

“Oh sorry, mom!” I teased.

“I am not your mother!” she said. “Keep that up and you’ll not get any brownies at all!”

“No!” I prolonged the word in mock desperation.

I washed my hands and stuffed a brownie in my mouth. The outside was crunchy and the inside was soft and chewy. Damn I loved Melissa’s baking. I never wanted her to move out. She was the best roommate ever! She could get away with murder if she bribed me with her baking.

She continued mixing the batter in her sweat pants and over sized hoody. Even her hips moved rhythmically with her violent movements. It was kind of hot. I spanked her ass as I went to sit at the kitchen table.

“Watch it, missy,” she pointed the beater at me threateningly.

“Sorry,” I said laughing and trying not to spill brownie crumbs. “Your little ass shaking was just irresistible.”

“Little?” she scoffed.

“All right,” I conceded. “Your big, fat ass was irresistible.”

“Bitch!” she gasped, her jaw dropping theatrically.

“What? I like big butts-” I started.

“Oh no!” she warned while holding back a giggle.

“-and I cannot lie,” I continued laughing. She bit her lip and swung the beater at me. Little droplets of batter splattered on my face.

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